LONG being the operative word here. Long distance relationships.
I was a sceptic for so long. I shook my head, cringed and rolled my eyes at the then stupid idea of dating someone on the other side of the country.
A year and a half ago I would have asked; How do you form an emotional relationship with someone over a Skype call? How do you trust that after arguments, a lack of attention, affection, or having a bad day at work, this person will stay faithful to you? How do you know that when this person says an early goodnight to you, that they aren’t night clubbing or on a date with someone else?
What are my thoughts a year and a half later you may ask?
I still don’t know.
I began my relationship with my boyfriend a year ago, lets just call him G. I had known G for a few years and had decided that apart from it not making any sense, and going against anything i had ever thought, I was going to give this relationship-thing a go.
I was busy, he was busy, we enjoyed speaking to each other on a regular basis. There was clearly a mutual attraction and to put it honestly, G was an amazing catch and I would have hated to see him with anyone else (I’m selfish like that, hah!). So it was convenient for both of us. I remember really thinking about it and preparing myself, it wasn’t going to be easy, I would have to work on it and make sacrifices to make this go anywhere. After all – G started out as a great friend of mine and I would hate myself if I ruined the friendship I had with him. (Turning friends into boyfriends, COMPLETE danger zone and definitely a whole other topic to blog about, YIKES!)
And so began my life.
Before I knew it I was waking up at ridiculous o’clock in the morning, EVERY morning, to speak to him. (London’s time difference quickly became my worst enemy *shakes fist*). I was excited for him to wake up to tell him about my day and was counting down the days until I travelled to London to visit, or off season when he came home. I had completely committed myself to somebody who not only lived in another city, but on the complete opposite side of the world. Literally.
Not only did I surprise the people around me but I completely surprised myself. I get comment after comment; “How do you do it?”, ‘That must be hard”, “Do you miss him?”, and the most common, “He lives WHERE?!” followed by me having to pick the person’s jaw off the ground. There are people who are incredibly supportive and I also get the odd negative attitude every now and then, quite similar to the pre-long-distance-relationship Olivia Faith I used to be.
Hearing about people doubt the success of my relationship has become completely normal. Heck, I hear of long distance couples going downhill all the time, thanks to those people with bad attitudes that somehow never fail to inform me on them. 😉
But to be honest I think it takes a special breed of relationship to make this work. Of course you need the typical lovey dovey stuff, the trust, the “I love you”‘s the commitment and everything else you need in an ordinary relationship. But I do believe in my circumstance, there is a little more sacrificing that has to be made, that either make or break the relationship for people who aren’t prepared.
e.g. I have not slept passed 6:30am since i started this whole relationship.
And yes, to answer your very important question, this has turned me into a coffee addicted Zombie-lady.
But hours worth of Skype calls, zero sleep, missing them, not being about to touch them, or hang out with them completely sucks… IF it isn’t the right person and IF I didn’t feel as though I wasn’t getting the same amount of sacrifice in return. But I am.
So No, I will never know if G is out clubbing every night or out on hot dates with gorgeous London women.
I will never know if one day G turns around and tells me he’s fallen in love with a European Supermodel with super long legs and enough will-power to turn down a cheeseburger. (Yes, those freaks do exist…!)
I will never know.
Whether something like this works or not is totally up to you. Nobody knows your relationship and nobody has the right to tell you the “Rules” of what is wrong and what is right. I will never know whats around the corner, I’ll never even know what tomorrow will bring.
But do I love him? Yes.
Does he make me feel loved and appreciated every single day? Definitely.
Is every second that i do get to spend with him everything I’d hoped for? Absolutely.
That sounds like a perfect relationship to me.
So in your face Pre-long-distance-relationship Olivia Faith! And every other sceptic who seems to be out there.
Proved you all wrong!