Sometimes, you find your life moving as a machine.
It becomes a comfortable, effortless routine that you become so accustomed to where you can literally predict everything from hitting the snooze button and not having time to wash your hair to running late because you spent that extra 3 minutes in the shower trying to convince yourself to brave the freezing cold bathroom on a winters morning. Seriously though… NOTHING in the world is more painful than that.
That is where I found myself.
It was the same, it was comfortable, it was my machine that worked stupidly easy.
Until it all changed.
I can remember the exact moment I realised I had to move to London. I remember not knowing whether to cry, jump up and down with excitement or curl up in a little ball for a few hours while my brain processed what the HECK was happening. I just remember my heart beating so fast that I was actually afraid of opening my mouth incase it decided to jump out of my throat and I wouldn’t know how to get it back in there. But along with the initial shock, I remember that I knew it was what I had to do. That little voice inside my head was laughing at me, just when i was sooooooo comfortable in my little world, the universe decided to throw me a curb ball to mix everything up just a little.
All of a sudden my machine came to a halt. It was all about to change, not the shave-the-side-of-your-head-because-you-think-it-MIGHT-look-cool kind of change though. More like the leave-everything-you’ve-ever-known-for-the-opposite-side-of-the-world kind of change. You know? Just casually…
It was a hard realisation, I had to accept the fact that I would be saying goodbye to everything, the routine, my comfort zone. I was a fish in my tiny little pond I have always known, that decided to leave it for a bigger pond filled with millions of fish (8.174 million to be exact.) Was I afraid? Ridiculously.
The question was, when moving overseas, where does one even start? So, like any typical 21st century gal does, I Googled it. After doing my research I discovered there were Visas and packing and bank accounts and apartments and all the extremely obvious things that go hand-in-hand with moving countries. Which became completely UN-obvious in my scattered state of mind.
And so began my list, the 3 page list. This list consisted of painful, horrific, nightmarish kinds of things like attempting to pack all my clothes into 4 medium sized boxes. Now, anyone who has ever seen my wardrobe knows that it has always resembled someone trying to squeeze into a REALLY tight pair of jeans. Every time you try and button them up (Or in my case, try and roll the doors shut) you KNOW you cannot possibly fit any more inside without it becoming a disaster. There was that, or something even MORE horrible; having to leave my phone in the car when I had my meeting at the British Embassy for my Working Visa. That was a very important day, where I learnt that I actually COULD function without my phone being attached to my hand. Weird.
The roller coaster has taken me up and down and around and in spirals and I even had that moment we all have on roller coasters, where you can just see it coming off the tracks and it being on the front page of every newspaper. But, just like on a roller coaster, I decided to relax and enjoy the ride. In my case, I have learnt to appreciate the people in my life, to take the time to go for a walk outside, to look on the bright side and realise Hey, if ANYTHING, I have become an absolute Professional at fitting a thousand items of clothing into a tiny vacuum seal storage bag. (The saviour of my packing disaster). Hah! Oh, the horrible, dry humour…
So the weeks have flown by in my cyclone of Visas and boxes and plane tickets. All until now. Now where there are just 7 days left.
I’ve received my Visa, sent off my boxes and booked all my tickets, now it is just waiting. Knowing that every day that goes past is a day less that I have in the country and a day closer to my life completely changing. I am a complete ball of every single emotion that a human being could possibly feel.
But most of all I am excited and stupidly determined.
Someone said to me “You have to work and risk and try with everything you have and only then will you be successful.”
So I am committed to working and trying harder than I ever have, I have taken the biggest risk in my entire life. So therefore this should technically mean that the success that will come from this will be bigger and better than anything I have ever experienced.
That is why I am excited.
As scary as it is and as different as it will be. As lonely, as sad, as happy, as excited, as I may feel, this is worth every second because I will make it all worth it. Because it is not until you give yourself no other option BUT success, that you achieve everything you put your mind to.
There is no Plan B.
I am 20 years young with wild ambitions and a hunger for World Domination. And as risky as it may seem for me to promise to succeed, I am willing to take that last risk. Because I know I can do it.
Stay tuned, because it will be a hell of a ride.
Over and OUT!
Olivia Faith. x