Firstly, I’mma start you off with a question, this time.
Mixing it up on you guys, keeping you on your toes, nah mean?! 😉
What is ‘normal’?
I’m not talking about what it means in the dictionary called Oxford, I’m talking about what it means in the dictionary called Your Brain.
A couple posts ago I spoke about things I wasn’t sorry about. Decisions I’ve made, things I’ve done and continue to make and do which are out of ‘the norm’ and how I’m proud and happy I had made them.
Hence the ‘not sorry’ theme.
I got messages and feedback from so many people after this post, which I was an absolute Buzzing Bee about because I just freakin’ love when people get old gal Faithy.
Seriously, guys!! Love you and it and everythang!
After that success and love and YAYYESYESYESYAY over that post, I spoke to a friend of mine who mentioned I should take a dive more in-depth into focussing more on things that aren’t the norm.
What is a normal job? A normal plan of progression for your life? Or even more controversial(and the main point of my rant on this fine evening. Don’t worry, honestly, no guys, it’s fine, you’re welcome. I know you really want to know, honestly it’s fine) what is normal in relationships?
Here is my tall tale that I swear is the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me!
By now, most of you should know that my relationship began as a long (and by long I mean long,long,long,long,long, LONG) distance relationship between myself, in Canberra (shouttttsss to C-bombbbb!!!) and my boyfriend in London.
If you didn’t already know that, then lets just catch you up real quick:
Come on down and Welcome to the partay!
So glad you could make it, where have you even been for all of my allthingsoliviafaith life?! Ps. My relationship started as a long distance one!
Love from Me.
Cool, now you’re caught up!
Anyways, I remember thinking.. Hmmm.. I totally don’t believe in long distance. But honestly, this guy is damn fine and almost as freakin’ funny as me (rare) so lets just give it a right go!
After the in depth decision making, about this big, weird, hard decision, I heard it all:
“Long distance isn’t a proper relationship”
“You don’t even know each other properly”
“How do you know what he’s doing over there?”
“You can’t have a relationship over a computer screen”
“WOW, you look so tired. Why? Oh, right you’re waking up at 5am everyday? Oh, for that guy? Right.”
And the list continues, but I’m not about putting you to sleep here on allthangs and you guys are all smart/cool/great/awesome/wooooah, you go Glen Co-co enough to get my drift!
All of these glorious super-totally-needed opinions came out of the woodwork while I was mid-skype-5am-styles dating him from across the world.
Heaps of awesome support. Thanks guys!
I have to stop myself in my blog tracks and just take a minnie to give love to the people who did help me out, my Famalam and my super close friends who were always on team Gianivia/Oliange/Faithyarlo.
-Freak, I never realised how hard it was to make a name collab with my boyf! Here’s to weird italian names and not being able to make a cute slogan name like Brangelina! Yolo!
Anyway, A.D.D, seriouslyyyyyy.
And we’re going to fast forward, I’ll just let ya’ll imagine what happened a year and a half later when I decided to shape up and ship out to London to live with him?
Enter the opinions:
“YOU’RE NOT MARRIED!”
“WHAT IF HE BREAKS UP WITH YOU!”
“WHAT IF HE LEAVES YOU STRANDED, WHAT WILL YOU DO?!”
“YOU’RE NOT EVEN ENGAGED YOU GOT NOTHING TIED TO HIM YOUR DUMB WHAT THE SERIOUSLY-” and here it comes guys…. “ITS NOT NORMAL!!!”
Here we are, now we’re on track!
So, duh, from the jump my relationship made zero sense and was so far from ‘normal’ that I had numerous people questioning my psychological health.
I don’t even blame them for one little second because I swear down I was questioning it myself for a fair while there, also!
When I moved over to the UK, I wasn’t married to my boyfriend I also wasn’t engaged to be married to my boyfriend.
It was just little old me who packed up her stuff, hopped on a 27 hour plane ride and then unpacked her stuff when she got to the other side.
To be perfectly honest with you guys(as usually usual), I didn’t actually even THINK about being married or engaged or any of that fluff.
Pretty much forgot it was even a thing.
Fast yourself forward a couple more years, a couple of moves and here I am in little old Melbourne still not engaged or married, almost 5 years later.
YEEEZUS!! Literally feeling SO old right now!
I have seen many-a-friend walk down the isle. Some who have been together longer than us, some that have been together shorter than us. There is no competition, no anger, no sadness, just me and my best friend doing thangs our way.
I always get asked when he’s going to ask the question or if I think I’ll get married soon. Oh no, wait, or my fave “Oh wow! Everyone gets married before you guys!”.
Correct, everyone is getting married before us guys.
Thanks for the tip, seriously!
I’m not going to give you the whole “Rules were made to be broken” chat, at all.
I’m not about to give you a 24 hour spill on how we should all go break the law and do a bunch of bad stuff and end up side by side a cell like, WOW TOTALLY NEVER READING ALLTHINGS AGAIN! I’m just not about that life.
It just ain’t me.
But when it comes to rules about relationships(actually, more than just relationships, but there’s another time for that can of worms), I do believe that “normal” is the old black and we are about 3058493 years overdue for a re-vamp.
The biggest and most important factor to me, is happiness.
I don’t think there is any right or wrong, or ‘normal’ way about your relationship, how you should do things and the ‘normal’ order of events.
Instead I like to take this really scientific, complicated, personal psychological multiple choice test to figure out what my next move is:
1.Do you wake up happy every day?
(a) Yes. Great, keep doing what you’re doing, Mate. You’re killing it!
(b) No. Great, put a shift in and make a change so you can wake up happy every day.
Not being married isn’t something that I sit around and think about. I don’t trouble myself about when its going to happen, why it hasn’t happen or if it “should”(HATE the word “should” thats another can of worms… Jeez, I have a couple of ’em!) have happened by now.
Like, that is genuinely not even a thing.
Also, lets be totally real I cant even manage living in the same country for 12 months straight, let alone trying to plan a marriage celebration.
Baby steps for me, guys! Come on!
But, do I wake up happy every morning?
Do I feel like I’m missing anything in my relationship?
This post isn’t about glorifying the unmarried people, this post is about the new normal, which is abnormal.
And the fact that there is no normal anymore.
Its about how no one ever really HAS to do anything anymore when it comes to their relationships and their life.
Besides pay taxes. I definitely recommend doing that. 😬
We live in a society now where the ladies have shaved heads(been there, done that), the boys are sporting Man-Buns(secretly, actually like them…. DON’T JUDGEEEEEE!), everyone’s working against having a 9-5 and where first comes love, then comes a baby in a golden carriage and then comes marriage.
Living the way you want to live and by your own rules is the most accepted it has ever been. So take advantage of that in every aspect of your life and run with it. Run far and wide and don’t even stop, ever!
Not saying I will never get married, of course I will! I’ll be a doting bride like no other and ya’ll are all invited!
But until then I will be the old unmarried maid moving countries and cities and collecting all my wedding invites wherever my abnormal life will lead me.
But, multiple choice, I choose (a) every day.
And as much as it makes no sense to anyone else, it doesn’t really matter in the end because they aren’t the ones living it.
Be your own normal, make your life how you want to make it.
Always, always choose (a).
Until next time, Lovers.
Keep it real, always!