Letters to my 20-year-old self.

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Cutie- Bae thought she had it all figured out writing to your 15-year-old self a couple of years back (feels like 90000 years ago/just yesterday, you know them ones??).
* laughing emoji face *
* devo emoji face *
* cross arm girl emoji *
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* lady in red dress emoji *

Sitting down writing this one out, I wasn’t exactly sure how you managed to condense the last letter into a short-and-sweet 5 tips.
Then I realised there’s not a lot you need to know when you’re fifteen besides “OMG STOP IT YOUR BOOBS WILL GROW ITS FINE YOUR LIFE ISNT OVER”.
So I totally get it.
I did do my best here to smoosh these tips into as few as possible, but… LOL.

Buckle your booty up, sister-friend, do yourself a favour and go buy a helmet, knee and elbow pads. Ya’ll gonna need it!

Continue reading “Letters to my 20-year-old self.”

Silver Linings

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I love it when people start blogs. When people send me their rough drafts to read, ask my opinion on a post of theirs or even include me in the brain-storming of their new blog.
LUURRRVVEEE it allllll.

I love Blogging because it is a cute webpage-world  where I get to talk about whatever I want with a bunch of the coolest people in town (loooveeee you guysssssss!!).
Some of the posts are important, some aren’t.
Most make zero sense and have a thousand typos and some I’ve posted,  deleted and then
re-posted again.

But, real life styles (with a z), just like anything, where there is a perfect dream world of great content and hilarious posts & every joke hitting a Home Run (ba-boom chhhhh!!), there are also the sticky things that get in the way of blogging and make this magical, hilarious blog world seem a little like dragging your tired, uninspired butt up-hill.
I think it is important to acknowledge that in any creative thang we have going on, it isn’t rainbows and butterflies all time.
Continue reading “Silver Linings”

Bye Bye Bosisto

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As I look around the empty skeletal apartment that has been the last year of my life, I notice how truly, unrecognizably empty the shell of my surroundings are. After a mere 2 days, there is not one shred of evidence left of a year filled with laughter, tears, frustrations, friendships, goals achieved, moments of let-downs and absolute, always-and-forever-abundant love.

The biggest lesson I face every single year since leaving home is the questioning of precisely that, home.
Continue reading “Bye Bye Bosisto”

Man, where did you come from? But seriously…?

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I know you’ve all probably had this lecture a thousand times in your high school history class…
But I just thought I’d give you a quick re-cap out of this encyclopaedia I just found…

Around 65 million years ago, just after the dinosaurs were extinct, there was a land where calories didn’t matter because we always ate amazing fresh food and drank delicious smoothies, mascara smudges never existed, your hair always sat perfectly, nail polish never chipped and you could wear the cute-baggy-sweater-style without looking chubby. This was Girl World and it was perfect. Everyone had sleepovers and went shopping and loved each other and were best friends with everybody and lived Happily Ever Before. (What happens before you live Happily Ever After, in case you didn’t know.)
ANYWAYS, in the middle of living this perfect life, all of a sudden a spaceship landed right in the middle of Girl World and out came these strange beings that the Girls had never seen before. They came with sweets and preservative-filled foods that tasted delicious but were bad for our figure, they all smelt bad, made weird noises out of strange areas of their bodies and ate everything in sight. As you can imagine, the Girls were thrown into a spin. What the hell are these things?
But because Girls are such amazing, beautiful, sparkly creatures of love, they welcomed these strangers with open arms. They leant them their showers, advised them to trim their beards and offered to wash their clothes so they didn’t walk around with the same t-shirt that smelt like a trash can.
The beings decided to make themselves comfortable in Girl World and decided to never leave. The Girls loved and cared for them, but were still completely confused and spent their time wondering about and questioning their strange behaviours. This created the beginning of forever.
The end.
Sorry to bore you with that history lesson.

Fast forward 65 million years. >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Even after 65 million years of research and experience, we STILL can’t figure them out. We will never fully understand the importance of a Playstation or fully understand their allergies to washing dishes.
Leading off my last post about w&w’s – Weird & Wonderful habits – I have decided to write a very short list of some of the u&u’s (Unusual & Unjust) habits our boyfriends have…
*Takes a deep breath*
Here goes nothin’!

u&u1: I never really understood why me hurting myself is so hilarious? Or why when my boyfriend accidentally drops his phone onto my face, he LAUGHS more than he actually helps me and cares about the fact that I may actually be one tooth lighter, or in need of a nose job now that he’s broken it? You can’t laugh at somebody when you’ve possibly just given them a black eye, just slightly unfair.

u&u2: Why in the world can they eat everything inside every corner of the house and NEVER gain any weight. I’m talking eggs, cheese, waffles, milk, sweets, pasta, ice cream, take away. Anything and absolutely everything. The next morning they wake up with a six pack, and two months down the track, you ask? Yeah, they’re still waking up with a six pack. Meanwhile the box of Favourites I ate 2 weeks ago are still accompanying me whilst I run on the treadmill. Metabolism?? Where did you go? I swear you were there 5 minutes ago…? Or maybe it was 5 years ago?… :\

u&u3: My schedule in the morning.
Wake up at the crack of dawn. Wash my hair. Take a million minutes to dry my hair. Style my hair. Pick out my outfit. Do my make up. Realise I hate what I’m wearing, so I pick out another outfit. Eat breakfast. Decide its way too cold outside, so I change my outfit again. Brush my teeth. Hurry out of the house before I over-think and decide to change my outfit for the 4th time.
A Boy’s schedule in the morning.
Wake up 15 minutes before he has to leave. Eat. Splash face with a bit of water. Wear any shirt, maybe even the same one he wore yesterday & the day before. Who really cares ayy? Throw on some jeans. Brush teeth. Leave, still looking better than my 3 hours of preparation had me looking?
Enough said.

u&u4:
Girl: “I hardly slept a wink last night, You know when it storms so loud that it keeps waking you up?”
Boyfriend: ” :\
Girl: “Ohhh, thats right, you slept straight through it, yeah… Don’t worry about it… :\
I will do anything to learn how to become completely deaf while I sleep and sleep through anything including storms, animals playing tips in the roof with each other, break-ins and even world wars. Please? Anybody?

u&u5: Lets settle an argument like a boy right now, okay? I’ll quickly punch you in the face, you punch me in the face, we’ll both leave the situation thinking the other guy lost and next time we se each other we’ll awkwardly say Hi, tell a few “Yo Mamma” jokes and within 5 minutes be offering the guy we know at the mechanics shop who can get you the part you need for your car really cheap. Case closed.

Gals, we love to think we understand the male gender. That we understand their mannerisms, we can tell what they are thinking or read their body language and that we know how to convince them of anything. But one thing we will NEVER understand is WHY they have managed to evolve into the most low-maintenance creatures in the world and still manage to be good looking, fit physiqued and have a care-free, no-worries mentality while never stressing about anything? I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that it is the 9th Wonder of the World..? Yep, yeah, it definitely is. It’s almost as unfair as the creation of Onesies… Let me explain, when God decided to make Onesies, he was honestly just trying to be a good bloke. Great idea, God. It is deliciously warm, comes in colours and fabrics I can wear on days off and not be frowned upon and the most perfect best friend a gal can ask for on a winter night with some hot chocolate. Genius. Right? Totally, But then you have to pee. At 3am. In winter. When it is absolutely freezing and have to get pretty much naked. Genius, but absolutely, painfully unfair. Now, to get back to the point, being honest, I’m totally jealous of the lads. I would love to spend my mornings sleeping an extra 2 hours and not having to worry if my Liquid eyeliner was symmetrical.
Except one thing I am not jealous of?
The Man-flue.
We gotta thank the big man upstairs that we can’t get contaminated with that.
Don’t know how we would deal.

All Over Red Rover.
Ohfaithy.

The W&W’s.

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My two favourite W’s. 
The Weird 

The Wonderful. 

I wish I had enough fingers, toes, limbs and hairs on my head to count the amount of times I’ve wished I had a reality TV show. 
Not because of the completely obvious reasons,
I’m extremely hilarious.
My life is actually insane in the membrane
or because I just love to spend my time showing off in front of people – I am very, very honest with myself. I’m a terrible show off, always have been, always will be. Its no longer an insult as it was in primary school, I’ve admitted it, dealt with it, moved myself into that category and quite comfortably made myself at home.
But because throughout my life I have learnt that opposed to being all of these fabulous, boast worthy things, something has always been a little bit off about me. Things that allays made me question…
Why did I always make really weird voices/animal noises? Why, when I was a child, did I think I had to lay on my right side, then swap sides 3 times before I could fall asleep? (SUPER glad I knocked out of myself early :\ Early signs of OCD much?) Why do I LOVE sitting on the floor? Even when there is a soft, luxurious couch available about 1 metre to my left?
Simply from those three examples, People, we are left with one conclusion.
It is clearly obvious…
I am REALLY weird. 

But instead of feeling insecure about not being particularly normal, I like to brand it as WONDERFUL! 
Hence this post. The w&w’s. The upside-down version of m&m’s. (see what i did there 😉 )Yes please! 

Here’s just a few of my w&w’s. Literally only just a few or you will be here until your 95th Birthday. 

w&w1: I am quite short. Not SHORT-short. But I’m a decent 163cm. Too short to be a catwalk model, but short enough to sleep in a bed. Hence my first w&w, I ALWAYS sleep down the bottom of the bed. Every night. Like, I’m talking, my feet have to hang off the end of the bed. Don’t know why, don’t care why. It’s weird and wonderful and I sleep like a baby! 
w&w2: I made a decision one day, can’t really remember when, but I decided that I do not shave my legs anymore. Only waxing, ever. It actually causes me issues and I get slightly anxious when I don’t have wax or haven’t booked an appointment to get my legs waxed. I am embarrassingly stubborn with things like this… weird and WONDERFUL no-spkiey leg hairs! Win! 
w&w2: I cannot straighten/style my hair more than twice a week. I have this obsession with growing my hair and feel guilt in the pitt of my stomach every time I style my hair more than twice a week.I literally feel like I can hear my hair dying in pain. Weird and wonderful fact, I don’t like to murder my hair. I am not a murderer, PLUS! 
w&w3: I can’t do anything people tell me to do. Not the whole
Mum: “Don’t cross the road when a car is coming”
Olivia: “SCREW YOU!”
*Gets run over*
Not to the point that I am Stupid, just to the point that I am annoyingly Stubborn – 
As in when someone says “OLIVIA, YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS MOVIE!” or “YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG OLIVIAAAAAA” theres about ——-9823787238793827498732 (Note the 7 minus signs) chance that I will ever watch/listen to that song ever in my life. Hence why I have still not seen Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events. Or whatever it was called. Weird and Wonderful fact, Olivia Faith is not a sheep. I proudly represent all the Shepherds out there! 
Which leads me right to this next w&w… 
w&w4: I can’t read/watch any movies or books with long titles. I just cannot. Hence, once again, why I have never watched/read Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events. I know, everyone who has seen this movie or read this novel will be shaking their head at me thinking the same thing my boyfriend just said to me about 3 seconds ago and that I have heard on numerous other occasions from different people. “You know Liv, A Series Of Unfortunate Events is actually a good movie…” I get it, it is most probably a fabulous, amazing TDF movie/book. But, I still can’t watch it. My brain just won’t let me, sorry. 
Remember, not Stupid, just Stubborn.
Weird and Wonderful fact, long/confusing titles of things bore me. And Olivia Faith does not enjoy confusion and/or boring things. 
w&w5: I love to eat dinner with one leg bent up on the chair I am sitting on. So, sort of in a crouch position except with one leg down like a normal human. Like how you would bob down on the ground, except only a Uni-bob. So one leg. I am most comfortable like this and wish I could eat like that every where I go! Weird and Wonderful fact to know that every time Olivia Faith is out to dinner with you and sitting with both feet on the ground, she is secretly mad that she can’t be sitting with one of her legs bent. Now you will be able to read my mind. I may or may not have just invented a word? Uni-bob. Apparently I am an inventor now, also! Fab! 

This concludes Part One of my countless w&w’s. 
Clearly, being Weird is Wonderful and separates you from all the regular-degulars out there. Which there are many of that like to over populate the world and leave all of us Weird and Wonderful creatures feeling like we aren’t the norm. In some cases, this can sometimes translate into us feeling insecure about sleeping so far down the bed or being irritated by having to sit two legged on the floor when we’re out to dinner. 
But all of you Weird and Wonderful creatures, make sure you back your Weirdness. Because it truly is Wonderful and you owe it to yourself to be exactly who you want to be. Like someone really, really smart once said, Oscar Wilde, to be exact! “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”  
And for all of the Weird and Wonderful people out there, you definitely aren’t alone, because you are always invited to join the Weird Club. 
The Club I have just created and so far has the population of one. I heard its pretty cool.. :\ 
You gotta start somewhere, right? 

What are some of your w&w’s? 

Over&OutOfaith.