The Mistake.

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I found myself becoming extremely frustrated the other day. Frustrated at a mistake that millions and zillions and batrillions of people make. (Yes, that IS a researched statistic. 😉 ) 
The Mistake? You are all asking. 
THE Mistake, is what I shall tell you. 
I get frustrated with the mistake people tend to make between “Change” and “Growth”. 
Now, I too WAS one of those million, zillion, squillion or whatever people. 
And I hear people doing it all day every day. 
“I am making a CHANGE!! I am NOT eating junk food anymore!”
“I am making a CHANGE!! I am going to lose weight!”
“I am making a CHANGE!! I am done with my boyfriend!”
“I am making a CHANGE!! I am going to put myself first!”

Now, in theory, these all seem like great changes. Besides the junk food one, you’re bound to eat a chocolate bar, candy or bag of Fries within the next however many years of your life.
But this is The Mistake people are making, because… 

Change is NOT lasting. 
To change something is a conscious decision in your mind that you are going to alter a specific area of your life to make it fit better with who you want to be, who other people want you to be or who you THINK you should be. It is a split decision and starts as soon as you decide it to.
As offfffff NOW I am going to be the happiest person I know! … Yeah kayyyy, for about 7 minutes until you remember all of the reasons who you weren’t the happiest person you know? Weirdo! 
No lasting change happens that quickly. 

Where as GROWTH is forever. 
Growth is what happens after you learn a lesson. It happens subconsciously, half the time you don’t even know it did happen until you look back in hindsight. Its the aftermath of screwing up time after time until you finally find your brain saying to you “Just shut up and pay 2 pounds for a parking ticket, you’re going to save yourself 35 Pounds of a parking fine that you definitely WILL get, because this parking inspector NEVER lets you get away with it” … Right, gotcha.  

Breakdown : 
Change = For a minute. 
Growth = 4 lyf. 
Hah. 

Now, I was once a Changer. 
And quite frankly, it was EXHAUSTING. I had to keep up face all the time. I lived in two different worlds, the world in my brain where I knew what I was doing wasn’t me VS the world on the outside that I had to PRETEND to be. And for a minute I had convinced myself that who I had changed into was me, until I removed myself from the situation, it all came tumbling down and realised that changing myself and ignoring myself was only doing me a lot more harm than it was good. 
So I picked myself up and I learnt from it. 
I think, if people make more of an effort to learn from they’re mistakes, admit when they’re wrong, and be honest with themselves, they will see much more of a positive shift in their lives. 

Some people would say since moving to London I’ve “Changed”. 
Which, I have to disagree with. 
All of my friends and family who have kept in contact with me know that I am more myself than I have ever been in my entire life. Following my heart and chasing my dreams, making mistakes, achieving amazing things and working my butt off. 
They’ll sit down and have an hour long conversation with you about how much I have GROWN. 
In saying that, my growth has made me a little different. 
I have re-kindled my passion for my dear friend, Coffee, I wear a little bit more make up than I used to, have to do my hair a lot more frequently and my jokes are a little bit more hilarious now (I know, I know, you didn’t think it was possible, I was shocked too! 😉 ). 
But I am still exactly the same. I still make weird voices, am constantly making up words and giving ridiculous nick-names to people, I still eat way more than I should, am completely hyper-active and am totally obsessed with growing my hair. 

During this Growth I have learnt that you may lose a few people who are dear to you while you grow, but you will always be left with your foundation people. The ones who have been there from the start. And those people know how much I love and adore them for always being there. 
So I would always recommend chasing whatever you want to chase in order to grow and blossom and become the amazing person you know you can be. Don’t be afraid of growing, no matter how scary it might seem or how many people are convincing others that you’ve “changed”. As long as you are taking each day as it comes, learning from all of your mistakes and staying true to yourself, you’ll be on the way. The MOST important thing I have learnt is that people will always brand you when it comes to something they don’t understand. They will call you crazy and stupid and make you out to be all kinds of horrible just to dismiss you instead of looking at themselves and growing from all of their mistakes. Don’t listen to them or let them get to you, after all, they’re just Changers.  

What is my final point?? 
Don’t be a Chameleon. They are ugly. 

PEACE! 
OH-faith.

A Change in the Weather

I haven’t posted a blog in SO long.
Every time I tried to write a post, I just had so much to say about how much I was learning or what I was doing, that I would start typing and it looked a little something like…

kajsdljhbsfjhbsncufnmn 

And I thought, Wowzer, I think I prefer it when I write in the manner that the human race can actually manage to understand. So I took the safe option and pressed the little red “X” on the top-left corner of my screen. Honestly, I did you all a favour and saved the life you would have all wasted Eye-brow raising, tilting your head to the left, then the right, squinting a little bit following by eventual realisation that it actually ISN’T English. Or any other language for that matter. 

Instead of keyboard-bashing for the rest of the day, I decided to fight the fog and go for a walk to the Public Garden down the road from my house.
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This was after I spent the morning doing the Seasonal Swap-over. You know, the depressing out with the T-shirts and in with the Beanies? Or maybe you are familiar with the very popular saying “See-ya LATER any open toed shoes and Hello to anything wooly you can fit on your feet”? Or those games, How-many-layers-can-you-wear-without-looking-fat and Theres-no-point-in-straightening-my-hair-while-its-pouring-rain-outside.
OH yes, and finally the sobbing, heartbreaking farewell to your glowing summer tan.

– Lets be honest, I never struggle with saying goodbye to my summer tan. Because I never actually get one and am cursed with a ghostly-white complexion 12 months of the year. But I could imagine, to all you bronzed, olive-skinned beauties, it would HURT- 

So anyway, I’m walking. I’m walking and I notice the breeze. The breeze that is impossible to miss, as it is about -92849834 degrees. So in actual fact, I was trying to IGNORE the breeze. As I was shivering and questioning whether or not I was actually born with a brain for even considering coming on such a torturous walk, I realised, I’ve been in London for an entire season. Summer all the way through to Autumn. Not only have I been here for an entire season, but I have SURVIVED. A part of me glimmered with a little bit of pride at the fact that I’d had my fair share of crappy moments, but I’d come through like a pro!

a) I’d dealt with broken-down cars all by myself: Thanks to two amazing strangers who offered to help me, faith in humanity, RESTORED!

b) I haven’t gotten lost on the Tube: Thanks to the best iPhone app in the WORLD, fingers crossed I haven’t jinxed myself now…

c) Given myself food poisoning from under cooked-anythings: “No, no. If you scrape the charcoal off, I PROMISE you’ll find some chicken under there.”

d) Been killed by a mass-murderer: That’s always a plus!

Perfect! I would say it’s been a pretty successful first few months!

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Seasons changing always get my brain ticking about change, in general. In my case, I’ve just turned 21 and if I’m being totally honest with you, I actually DO feel different. I don’t know if it’s because I’d spent a refreshing 2 weeks with my parents for my birthday? Likely. Maybe it’s because my brain had obsessed over being 21 that I had convinced myself I was different? Equally as likely. Or maybe I just went to sleep one night and awoke the next day as some-what of a genius? Personally, I believe the third theory to be the most likely out of the three. 😉

Whatever it was (*cough* theory number 3… *cough*) I felt a huge difference, and I still do. It’s definitely not just Summer turning into Autumn. Although that is definitely the case, just ask my new best friends who go by the name of Gloves, Coat and Beanie. We’re inseparable. 😉
Someone very, very clever (Shout out to my Mum, that’s you!) once said to me that it’s proven  that all the cells in your body are believed to be completely renewed after 7 years, (Some anatomy for ya’ll!) Also, coming hand-in-hand with that is the theory that your life happens in 7 year cycles as well. That every 7 years is the beginning of a new season of your life.

So, as I’ve just turned 21, the end of an exciting, crazy, beautiful, 7 year cycle, I know it is definitely more than just the seasons changing.

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xx
Renewed,
Olivia Faith.