Man, where did you come from? But seriously…?

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I know you’ve all probably had this lecture a thousand times in your high school history class…
But I just thought I’d give you a quick re-cap out of this encyclopaedia I just found…

Around 65 million years ago, just after the dinosaurs were extinct, there was a land where calories didn’t matter because we always ate amazing fresh food and drank delicious smoothies, mascara smudges never existed, your hair always sat perfectly, nail polish never chipped and you could wear the cute-baggy-sweater-style without looking chubby. This was Girl World and it was perfect. Everyone had sleepovers and went shopping and loved each other and were best friends with everybody and lived Happily Ever Before. (What happens before you live Happily Ever After, in case you didn’t know.)
ANYWAYS, in the middle of living this perfect life, all of a sudden a spaceship landed right in the middle of Girl World and out came these strange beings that the Girls had never seen before. They came with sweets and preservative-filled foods that tasted delicious but were bad for our figure, they all smelt bad, made weird noises out of strange areas of their bodies and ate everything in sight. As you can imagine, the Girls were thrown into a spin. What the hell are these things?
But because Girls are such amazing, beautiful, sparkly creatures of love, they welcomed these strangers with open arms. They leant them their showers, advised them to trim their beards and offered to wash their clothes so they didn’t walk around with the same t-shirt that smelt like a trash can.
The beings decided to make themselves comfortable in Girl World and decided to never leave. The Girls loved and cared for them, but were still completely confused and spent their time wondering about and questioning their strange behaviours. This created the beginning of forever.
The end.
Sorry to bore you with that history lesson.

Fast forward 65 million years. >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Even after 65 million years of research and experience, we STILL can’t figure them out. We will never fully understand the importance of a Playstation or fully understand their allergies to washing dishes.
Leading off my last post about w&w’s – Weird & Wonderful habits – I have decided to write a very short list of some of the u&u’s (Unusual & Unjust) habits our boyfriends have…
*Takes a deep breath*
Here goes nothin’!

u&u1: I never really understood why me hurting myself is so hilarious? Or why when my boyfriend accidentally drops his phone onto my face, he LAUGHS more than he actually helps me and cares about the fact that I may actually be one tooth lighter, or in need of a nose job now that he’s broken it? You can’t laugh at somebody when you’ve possibly just given them a black eye, just slightly unfair.

u&u2: Why in the world can they eat everything inside every corner of the house and NEVER gain any weight. I’m talking eggs, cheese, waffles, milk, sweets, pasta, ice cream, take away. Anything and absolutely everything. The next morning they wake up with a six pack, and two months down the track, you ask? Yeah, they’re still waking up with a six pack. Meanwhile the box of Favourites I ate 2 weeks ago are still accompanying me whilst I run on the treadmill. Metabolism?? Where did you go? I swear you were there 5 minutes ago…? Or maybe it was 5 years ago?… :\

u&u3: My schedule in the morning.
Wake up at the crack of dawn. Wash my hair. Take a million minutes to dry my hair. Style my hair. Pick out my outfit. Do my make up. Realise I hate what I’m wearing, so I pick out another outfit. Eat breakfast. Decide its way too cold outside, so I change my outfit again. Brush my teeth. Hurry out of the house before I over-think and decide to change my outfit for the 4th time.
A Boy’s schedule in the morning.
Wake up 15 minutes before he has to leave. Eat. Splash face with a bit of water. Wear any shirt, maybe even the same one he wore yesterday & the day before. Who really cares ayy? Throw on some jeans. Brush teeth. Leave, still looking better than my 3 hours of preparation had me looking?
Enough said.

u&u4:
Girl: “I hardly slept a wink last night, You know when it storms so loud that it keeps waking you up?”
Boyfriend: ” :\
Girl: “Ohhh, thats right, you slept straight through it, yeah… Don’t worry about it… :\
I will do anything to learn how to become completely deaf while I sleep and sleep through anything including storms, animals playing tips in the roof with each other, break-ins and even world wars. Please? Anybody?

u&u5: Lets settle an argument like a boy right now, okay? I’ll quickly punch you in the face, you punch me in the face, we’ll both leave the situation thinking the other guy lost and next time we se each other we’ll awkwardly say Hi, tell a few “Yo Mamma” jokes and within 5 minutes be offering the guy we know at the mechanics shop who can get you the part you need for your car really cheap. Case closed.

Gals, we love to think we understand the male gender. That we understand their mannerisms, we can tell what they are thinking or read their body language and that we know how to convince them of anything. But one thing we will NEVER understand is WHY they have managed to evolve into the most low-maintenance creatures in the world and still manage to be good looking, fit physiqued and have a care-free, no-worries mentality while never stressing about anything? I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that it is the 9th Wonder of the World..? Yep, yeah, it definitely is. It’s almost as unfair as the creation of Onesies… Let me explain, when God decided to make Onesies, he was honestly just trying to be a good bloke. Great idea, God. It is deliciously warm, comes in colours and fabrics I can wear on days off and not be frowned upon and the most perfect best friend a gal can ask for on a winter night with some hot chocolate. Genius. Right? Totally, But then you have to pee. At 3am. In winter. When it is absolutely freezing and have to get pretty much naked. Genius, but absolutely, painfully unfair. Now, to get back to the point, being honest, I’m totally jealous of the lads. I would love to spend my mornings sleeping an extra 2 hours and not having to worry if my Liquid eyeliner was symmetrical.
Except one thing I am not jealous of?
The Man-flue.
We gotta thank the big man upstairs that we can’t get contaminated with that.
Don’t know how we would deal.

All Over Red Rover.
Ohfaithy.

A Change in the Weather

I haven’t posted a blog in SO long.
Every time I tried to write a post, I just had so much to say about how much I was learning or what I was doing, that I would start typing and it looked a little something like…

kajsdljhbsfjhbsncufnmn 

And I thought, Wowzer, I think I prefer it when I write in the manner that the human race can actually manage to understand. So I took the safe option and pressed the little red “X” on the top-left corner of my screen. Honestly, I did you all a favour and saved the life you would have all wasted Eye-brow raising, tilting your head to the left, then the right, squinting a little bit following by eventual realisation that it actually ISN’T English. Or any other language for that matter. 

Instead of keyboard-bashing for the rest of the day, I decided to fight the fog and go for a walk to the Public Garden down the road from my house.
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This was after I spent the morning doing the Seasonal Swap-over. You know, the depressing out with the T-shirts and in with the Beanies? Or maybe you are familiar with the very popular saying “See-ya LATER any open toed shoes and Hello to anything wooly you can fit on your feet”? Or those games, How-many-layers-can-you-wear-without-looking-fat and Theres-no-point-in-straightening-my-hair-while-its-pouring-rain-outside.
OH yes, and finally the sobbing, heartbreaking farewell to your glowing summer tan.

– Lets be honest, I never struggle with saying goodbye to my summer tan. Because I never actually get one and am cursed with a ghostly-white complexion 12 months of the year. But I could imagine, to all you bronzed, olive-skinned beauties, it would HURT- 

So anyway, I’m walking. I’m walking and I notice the breeze. The breeze that is impossible to miss, as it is about -92849834 degrees. So in actual fact, I was trying to IGNORE the breeze. As I was shivering and questioning whether or not I was actually born with a brain for even considering coming on such a torturous walk, I realised, I’ve been in London for an entire season. Summer all the way through to Autumn. Not only have I been here for an entire season, but I have SURVIVED. A part of me glimmered with a little bit of pride at the fact that I’d had my fair share of crappy moments, but I’d come through like a pro!

a) I’d dealt with broken-down cars all by myself: Thanks to two amazing strangers who offered to help me, faith in humanity, RESTORED!

b) I haven’t gotten lost on the Tube: Thanks to the best iPhone app in the WORLD, fingers crossed I haven’t jinxed myself now…

c) Given myself food poisoning from under cooked-anythings: “No, no. If you scrape the charcoal off, I PROMISE you’ll find some chicken under there.”

d) Been killed by a mass-murderer: That’s always a plus!

Perfect! I would say it’s been a pretty successful first few months!

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Seasons changing always get my brain ticking about change, in general. In my case, I’ve just turned 21 and if I’m being totally honest with you, I actually DO feel different. I don’t know if it’s because I’d spent a refreshing 2 weeks with my parents for my birthday? Likely. Maybe it’s because my brain had obsessed over being 21 that I had convinced myself I was different? Equally as likely. Or maybe I just went to sleep one night and awoke the next day as some-what of a genius? Personally, I believe the third theory to be the most likely out of the three. 😉

Whatever it was (*cough* theory number 3… *cough*) I felt a huge difference, and I still do. It’s definitely not just Summer turning into Autumn. Although that is definitely the case, just ask my new best friends who go by the name of Gloves, Coat and Beanie. We’re inseparable. 😉
Someone very, very clever (Shout out to my Mum, that’s you!) once said to me that it’s proven  that all the cells in your body are believed to be completely renewed after 7 years, (Some anatomy for ya’ll!) Also, coming hand-in-hand with that is the theory that your life happens in 7 year cycles as well. That every 7 years is the beginning of a new season of your life.

So, as I’ve just turned 21, the end of an exciting, crazy, beautiful, 7 year cycle, I know it is definitely more than just the seasons changing.

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xx
Renewed,
Olivia Faith.

Olivia Faith on driving in London.

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I had a full day of filming the other day in South London. I currently am living in North London which, when you come from a small town like Canberra where it takes 20 minutes to get from the centre of the city to either side of town, seems like FOREVER away.
Now, it was my first experience driving on the highways in London, which is actually ridiculously easy. The highways/roundabouts/every road here is so clear and all make it super straight forward and basic for you to navigate yourself around the city. Not to mention that there is literally a lack of road rage. I would be lucky if I’ve heard 3 people beep their horns while I’ve been here. One was a bus, but I don’t think that counts because it was at me when I decided to run across the road at the stupidest time (Don’t kill me, Mum!). Traffic lights here go yellow before they go green, so I crossed the road assuming yellow meant that they were going to stop? BUT ANYWAYS, back to the roads, I am seriously impressed with them. As long as I managed to stay out of the way of the people flying at about 90837585374y578347scb km an hour I was safe.

Driving to the south side was the impressive part. I arrived about 15 minutes early and was surprised at how relaxed I was after driving for so long. I had expected it to be a nightmare. Only a few tiny hiccups but all-in-all an easy drive in. Anyone that knows me, knows I am a horrific driver and I can proudly say that I have sometimes gone months on end without sitting behind the wheel of a car by choice. *thumbs up* Hate it.
So after a whole day of filming, about a thousand pieces to camera, I was tired, hungry and super excited to see my new best friend when I got home, who goes by the name of My Bed. I put my address into my Map on my cute iPhone 5, I checked the time, 5:15pm and as the route came up I saw hundreds of little orange and red dots along the road I had to travel on. My face literally dropped, (I didn’t think my face could achieve any sort of expression of emotion due to exhaustion, but I was wrong, it managed.) Yikes. They were the traffic indicators, those little dots that show you where the bad traffic congestion along the roads are. (Amazingly smart on behalf of technology, but definitely NOT what I wanted to be seeing after 8 hours of filming!) I checked all 3 route options, all of them looked like they’d come down with a severe case of the chicken pox. Finally I decided to take a deep breath in and dive into it, this took a lot of convincing. I did find myself wanting to just sit in the car park for an hour and a half to let it die down. And in hindsight it would probably have been a better idea. But that is so out of character for Olivia Faith, who, of course, with her embarrassingly stubborn I’m-not-afraid-of-anything attitude wanted to tackle it head-on. Loser.
I was CRAWLING, no, not crawling, because I’m pretty sure if there was a baby crawling next to my car, it would have crossed the finish line well before I did. This continued all the way down the highway. But not just the highway,
Every
Single
Road.
It was pain if I’d ever felt it.
I found myself trying to lighten the mood thinking to myself, “Ohhhhh, right. I get it, (I didn’t) This is only this highway, once I exit in 5 miles it will be clear roads!” Wow, was I so, so wrong. I could see cars driving down the opposite side of the highway looking at all of us banked up cars like “Wow, it would definitely suck to be you!”. The exact same way I look at huge traffic queues. Except I usually try and send hand signals to the unsuspecting people driving up to the traffic to turn around before its too late. No matter how much of an idiot I look like, it is still so nice of me. Hah!
Anyways, after slugging it out (literally like a slug, because they are SO slow) for 2.5 hours, I arrived home. I stood under a shower for far too long and face planted the bed by about 9pm. It was then that I decided that if you can drive in London’s peak hour traffic, you can drive anywhere, or anything probably even trains and plains and things… SERIOUSLY.

In conclusion, Olivia Faith’s top three four tips on driving in London.
1. Wait for the traffic to die down, it AINT worth it.
2. Don’t leave your old phone with all your music on it at home. Rookie mistake.
3. Two options: Bring plenty of food or Die of starvation – your choice.
4. Do not ever, ever, EVER laugh at anybody stuck in a traffic queue. Because when karma bites your toosh, it is NOT even in the slightest bit funny.

OUT!
Ofaith.

x

7 days.

ImageSometimes, you find your life moving as a machine. 
It becomes a comfortable, effortless routine that you become so accustomed to where you can literally predict everything from hitting the snooze button and not having time to wash your hair to running late because you spent that extra 3 minutes in the shower trying to convince yourself to brave the freezing cold bathroom on a winters morning. Seriously though… NOTHING in the world is more painful than that. 
That is where I found myself. 
It was the same, it was comfortable, it was my machine that worked stupidly easy. 
Until it all changed. 

I can remember the exact moment I realised I had to move to London. I remember not knowing whether to cry, jump up and down with excitement or curl up in a little ball for a few hours while my brain processed what the HECK was happening. I just remember my heart beating so fast that I was actually afraid of opening my mouth incase it decided to jump out of my throat and I wouldn’t know how to get it back in there. But along with the initial shock, I remember that I knew it was what I had to do. That little voice inside my head was laughing at me, just when i was sooooooo comfortable in my little world, the universe decided to throw me a curb ball to mix everything up just a little. 
All of a sudden my machine came to a halt. It was all about to change, not the shave-the-side-of-your-head-because-you-think-it-MIGHT-look-cool kind of change though. More like the leave-everything-you’ve-ever-known-for-the-opposite-side-of-the-world kind of change. You know? Just casually… :\
It was a hard realisation, I had to accept the fact that I would be saying goodbye to everything, the routine, my comfort zone. I was a fish in my tiny little pond I have always known, that decided to leave it for a bigger pond filled with millions of fish (8.174 million to be exact.) Was I afraid? Ridiculously. 
The question was, when moving overseas, where does one even start? So, like any typical 21st century gal does, I Googled it. After doing my research I discovered there were Visas and packing and bank accounts and apartments and all the extremely obvious things that go hand-in-hand with moving countries. Which became completely UN-obvious in my scattered state of mind.
And so began my list, the 3 page list. This list consisted of painful, horrific, nightmarish kinds of things like attempting to pack all my clothes into 4 medium sized boxes. Now, anyone who has ever seen my wardrobe knows that it has always resembled someone trying to squeeze into a REALLY tight pair of jeans. Every time you try and button them up (Or in my case, try and roll the doors shut) you KNOW you cannot possibly fit any more inside without it becoming a disaster. There was that, or something even MORE horrible; having to leave my phone in the car when I had my meeting at the British Embassy for my Working Visa. That was a very important day, where I learnt that I actually COULD function without my phone being attached to my hand. Weird. 
The roller coaster has taken me up and down and around and in spirals and I even had that moment we all have on roller coasters, where you can just see it coming off the tracks and it being on the front page of every newspaper. But, just like on a roller coaster, I decided to relax and enjoy the ride. In my case, I have learnt to appreciate the people in my life, to take the time to go for a walk outside, to look on the bright side and realise Hey, if ANYTHING, I have become an absolute Professional at fitting a thousand items of clothing into a tiny vacuum seal storage bag. (The saviour of my packing disaster). Hah! Oh, the horrible, dry humour…
So the weeks have flown by in my cyclone of Visas and boxes and plane tickets. All until now. Now where there are just 7 days left. 
I’ve received my Visa, sent off my boxes and booked all my tickets, now it is just waiting. Knowing that every day that goes past is a day less that I have in the country and a day closer to my life completely changing. I am a complete ball of every single emotion that a human being could possibly feel.
But most of all I am excited and stupidly determined. 
Someone said to me “You have to work and risk and try with everything you have and only then will you be successful.” 
So I am committed to working and trying harder than I ever have, I have taken the biggest risk in my entire life. So therefore this should technically mean that the success that will come from this will be bigger and better than anything I have ever experienced.
That is why I am excited. 
As scary as it is and as different as it will be. As lonely, as sad, as happy, as excited, as I may feel, this is worth every second because I will make it all worth it. Because it is not until you give yourself no other option BUT success, that you achieve everything you put your mind to.
There is no Plan B.  

I am 20 years young with wild ambitions and a hunger for World Domination. And as risky as it may seem for me to promise to succeed, I am willing to take that last risk. Because I know I can do it. 

Stay tuned, because it will be a hell of a ride. 

Over and OUT! 
Olivia Faith. x